Category Archives: parenthood

You Can Help Me Teach Them

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“People are staring at him because they think he is weird.”

My seven-year-old daughter has always loved and accepted her big brother, who is nine years old and autistic, exactly for who he is: a fun, loving, and unique human who just happens to move through this world a little differently than most.

We had the kind of evening where her brother garnered himself a lot of attention from onlookers. There’s something about a new place, increased demands, sensory overload, and feeling misunderstood that will cause his “indoor voice” to disappear real fast, and dysregulation to set in.

No one get’s to choose where and when this will happen, whether it be on aisle seven at the grocery store or a crowded lobby at sister’s dance class studio.

“They don’t think he is weird,” I assured her. “They just haven’t seen a lot of people act or speak the way he does before, so they are curious.”

Sometimes I think my skin is thick. That I’ve got this advocating and acceptance thing down. And that the stares don’t bother me. But if I am honest, that is not all the way true. I remind myself that the stares do not bother him one bit, and that is what matters.

And sometimes, conversations with a sweet seven-year-old sting a little, deep in my mama heart. The words and feelings echo and linger. Like the time she asked if her brother would have autism forever, or if he loved her.

And sometimes the stares are just a simple and exhausting reminder that we have so much work to do, to increase autism awareness and acceptance in this world. To make it easier for our son, and so many others, to navigate their way through it and be met with grace and patience along the way.

“It’s because he has autism, but no one knows what autism is. That’s why they think he’s weird,” she said.

“That’s why we teach them about autism, sweetie. You can help me teach them.”

Let’s Get {Re}Acquainted!

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I’m Lauren, the owner/operator/coordinator-of-chaos over here at Wilson’s Climb & Little Rebels with a Cause. I started this blog & clothing brand with our curious nine-year-old son in mind. He was diagnosed with autism when he was three years old and has always been my constant reminder that EVERYONE is going through so much more than what meets the eye.

I would do anything for this boy to be understood. For him to be met with kindness, patience, grace, and encouragement as he moves through this world a little differently than most.

The more awareness & acceptance of differences there are in this world, the easier it may be for our boy, and so many others, to navigate through it. We believe EVERYbody deserves to be loved, included, & accepted.

Meet my guy!

Wilson is a salty boy. He would choose potato chips over sweets any day. He LOVES all things pirates, trains, music, & art.  He’s taught us that marching to the beat of your very own drum is the way it should be.

My background was in magazines & advertising before making the jump back into restaurant/retail and eventually launching Little Rebels with a Cause. Besides the favors I call in constantly from friends & family (art, modeling, hauling boxes, to name a few), LR is still a one-woman show. I am looking forward to finding ways for teens & adults with disabilities to gain work experience here down the road.

I do a real, legit small-business-happy-dance in our small Oregon shop when we receive your orders, especially thinking about the conversations that will follow these tees around.

This little shop is making waves of change, awareness, & inclusion because of YOU! I am so thankful for you all and your belief in our small biz with a big mission.

I am constantly dreaming up designs that will start conversations & help us advocate for ourselves and others, and sourcing the softest, highest-quality garments that the whole family will feel good in. Check back often as the new arrivals continue to roll in!

Check out Little Rebels with a Cause

Simple Inclusion. It Matters.

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For the first time, Wilson is participating in Show-and-Tell at school today. I told him to pick just one toy to bring to school and show his friends and assured him it would go right back home where it belongs after school. His wonderful teachers had us write up some information about the toy to help Wilson answer potential questions that classmates will ask about it.

This is inclusion. The kind that is so simple but pings me in the deepest part of my mama heart.

These are the kinds of things that Wilson hasn’t always participated in. With limited verbal communication, he often has a hard time understanding what is being asked of him. I could pick an item for him and send it with him to celebrate/share/join in the fun but unless there is support/facilitation from teachers, it would likely just remain in his backpack all day.

Spontaneous questions are hard for him to answer, so the thoughtfulness in getting the information about his toy to help support him in that conversation with classmates is so beautiful.

He has grown so much.  He understood exactly what was being asked and marched up to his toy closet.

He chose his Mickey Mouse Jack in the box.

For his ninth birthday, our amazing friends scored a Mickey Mouse Jack in the Box, knowing how much our guy loves Mickey and is enamored with Jack in the Boxes of any variety.

I am writing this for everyone.

I often remind myself why I am here, sharing this boy’s story. I wonder who is listening.

I know parents who have struggled to find new Barney toys for their twelve-year-old, or a Paw Patrol shirt for their teen. As caregivers, I think we all find that point where the whole “age-appropriate toy” thing flies out the window, no longer stings, and we just want the thing that will make our kids HAPPY. You are not alone no matter where you are in this journey.

For the teachers, friends, and family who meet and celebrate our kids right where they are… thank you, it really means everything.

Sometimes the simplest things (kindness + inclusion) are actually really, really big things in someone else’s world.

I share this boy’s journey because I want everyone to see the challenges, all the hard work, and the reminder that everyone is fighting a battle you cannot see.  But I also want you to see ALL. THE. JOY. It’s everywhere. It’s not missing or lacking or sad because it is sometimes found in different ways or places or things.

Different. Not less.

Also pictured: Auntie gave him a new pirate costume and ship for Christmas and YO-HO MATEY you better believe we had a fabulous Christmas with Captain Wilson.

Nothing Comes without Hard Work.

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Nothing comes to this boy without hard work.

Wilson is nine years old and autistic, and procedures like this used to rock. our. world. Anxiety, communication breakdowns, new environments, sensory processing overload coupled with every-other-unknown that would come our way.

So, when Wilson’s doctor ordered a routine EKG for him, I felt all of the above come flooding back.

He got to work. He practiced with his teachers and therapists, all the way down to putting the stickers on and laying still until the doctor says they can be removed.

He watched videos and social stories to help him know what to expect.

We continued to work on waiting and flexibility with his schedule across various environments.

He was ready, and he did amazing.

Whenever I have my doubts/fears, this kid shows the way. I’m so proud of him.

Dear Santa

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Dear Santa,

Thank you for being so kind to our boy today. Wilson is nine years old and autistic, and these kinds of activities are not always possible for him, as crowded malls and long lines often lead to anxiety and sensory overload.

But today he spotted you on our favorite small family farm and patiently waited for his turn to see you up close.

He didn’t know how to answer when you asked what he would like for Christmas.  Those kinds of questions are hard for him to find the words for. But as his mom, I can tell you it is this. These moments. You’re pure magic to him. 

He doesn’t know about the latest games and toys for kids his age. He has never asked us for something like that. But he knows the magic of Christmas. And he celebrates it every day, beginning in October.

You listened as he scripted about his favorite holiday books and characters, and asked more questions that went unanswered.

He continued to stand in awe when his turn for a visit was over. He quietly watched you from afar, taking in your every move. You should know that he doesn’t usually do this. He’s always moving, spinning, jumping, and dancing onto the next thing.

I want you to know that your kindness & patience matters. 

Not just to him.

But to a mom and dad who have waited a long time for these moments, too. 

You probably already know all of this, but I think sometimes others forget. That the simple, little things might be really, very big things in someone else’s world.

Thank you,

Love Wilson’s mom 

Be Kind & Include this Halloween

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I will admit I did a lot of judging on Halloween before I had kids of my own. Kids that appeared to be “too old” for trick-or-treating, kids that came across as rude because they didn’t say “trick-or-treat” or “thank you” and kids that seemed to not even bother putting a costume on…

Wilson changed all of that.  This kid has taught me so much about doing things in his own time. I’ve also had a front row seat to see how hard he has worked to do any one of those things mentioned above, let alone all at once.  

This Halloween, remember that many kids communicate and process their environment in unique ways. If someone looks “too old” for trick-or-treating, they could be developmentally delayed. Think about our guy, Wilson. He is nine years old and autistic, and this might his first year to be able to wear a costume AND say “trick-or-treat”. Should that be short-lived just because he grows bigger? 

Some might not be able to say “trick-or-treat” or wear a costume but trust me, they deserve the candy.

They may not say “thank you” but I promise, they feel it.

Please be patient, kind, & inclusive.

This boy loves Halloween. He adores pumpkins and would wheelbarrow the whole patch home if we let him. He plays with his pumpkins, acts out songs or scenes, and checks on them before bed.

He wears all kinds of costumes throughout the year, most often Olaf from Frozen or pirate gear.

Though he has never wanted to put a costume on for Halloween night.

He likely hasn’t understood the point of it, nor enjoyed the pressure of the situation where we are telling him it’s time to wear a costume.  

Again, he finds SO MUCH JOY in this holiday. For him, it isn’t about the candy. In fact, he’d be more interested in what is going on in your living room versus what you have in the Halloween bowl out front.

He might take a piece of candy, but he’ll have no intention of eating it. His sensory processing and motor planning difficulties keep him on a strict diet right down to preferred brands of cheese and bread.

Through listening to his favorite Halloween stories and shows, he knows now that this is what you do. You take the candy, and you put it in the beloved pumpkin pale. So, he just might try it this year.

Either way, he will be so HAPPY to be pointing out spiders, skeletons, witches, ghosts and most of all, PUMPKINS!!

Have a safe and Happy Halloween!!

We practiced a little trick-or-treating at a friends house, Wilson did great!

This is NINE✨

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He loves music by the Beatles and watching Teletubbies & Toy Story.

He shouts “choo choo!” whenever he sees a train and quacks at ducks and creates beautiful pieces of art.

He dresses like a pirate & craves movement.

He is curious, adventurous, and has eaten the same sandwich every day for years.

He is gentle and tender.

He is courage and resilience.

He is simple and complicated.

He forgives. 

He never gives up.

He is fierce and fragile.

His joy is magnetic.

He cannot be summed up in a cute little box labeled “AUTISM”. Nope.  Trying to summarize him is more like trying to catch and examine the wind.

He is magic.

Love this One of a Kind kid of mine.

Some photos from the day…

awareness + acceptance

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My boy with autism. Or my autistic boy. This is a very important thing.

One is a person first, after all, he is a beautiful boy who just happens to have autism.

The other is an all-encompassing identity worn with pride.

I wish we didn’t have to choose. Can’t it be both? I want both for him.

There is no right answer, but people will tell you otherwise each way you choose.

Maybe someday my boy will tell me his preference.

Just like someday he will answer his dad when he asks him what he did at school that day.

Every day, he is met with silence and a smile. Some day.

A lot of people really want to skip the whole awareness thing and have everyone move right on into acceptance. That sounds ideal to me, but I really don’t see how one can happen without the other.

So, we continue to talk about autism to spread awareness & acceptance.

It does get a little exhausting, I will be honest.

The repetition, the hope, the advocacy on eggshells.

But I get excited, thinking about more people joining in on this awareness + acceptance thing.

I can start to see a world where communication without words is commonplace.

And maybe things like atypical eye contact wouldn’t be a thing, and maybe parents like us wouldn’t hear that word, ATYPICAL, so damn much.

In this world I picture people who understand that sensory processing is so different for everyone. How it can be downright painful for some, and never given a second thought by others.

People would be better about not taking the little things in life for granted, like outings outside of the home that for some, like my boy, require navigating a battlefield of anxiety, sensory input, and communication barriers.

They’d know that nonspeakers still FEEL greatly.

There would be just enough awareness for people to be kind, patient, & accepting of those who move through this world a little differently than most.

I share this boy with you

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I share this boy with you because he is unique.

He is a constant reminder for me that every single person I encounter is so much more than meets the eye, and maybe he will remind you, too.

While I don’t ever want to miss an opportunity to celebrate this amazing boy, I also choose to share some of his challenges, progress, joy, and everything in between.

I do this because it isn’t enough for people to just know that autistic people exist.  I want the world to understand the vastness of this spectrum including the behaviors, abilities, needs, challenges, and beauty in all people who live with autism.

I want people to learn about and celebrate differences.  When someone looks, sounds, smells, and behaves differently than you, how wonderful of an opportunity you have to learn from them!✨

When you meet someone like my boy, whose brain may work differently than yours, it may take some time and patience to understand the contradictions weaved throughout his daily life.

How someone as wild and free as the wind can also feel as caged as a bird; with words, thoughts, and feelings often trapped inside of him.

How he needs predictability and order like his sandwich cut a certain way, the same clothes daily, and to constantly see his schedule, but this same boy loves speed, spinning, and falling just to the edge of out of control.  I think all of this is how he feels safe but also feels ALIVE. ✨

I spent a lot of time trying to untangle all the contradictions inside of this sweet boy, like it had to be one way or another. It doesn’t. He is not something to be untangled or fixed, just understood, supported, and included.✌🏻

This blue-eyed boy finds JOY ✨ everywhere, and the best part is, he helps others see it too. I hope you get the chance to know him, or someone as uniquely wonderful.

Pictured: getting cozy at a photo shoot for our kindness/inclusion centered apparel brand, Little Rebels with a Cause 😍

LittleRebelsCause.com

A Very Merry Season

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I was wrapping presents last night when I came across one designed for children 3-5 years old that I had purchased for my eight-year-old.  It got me thinking about how we do things a little differently around here.

Throughout the years, we’ve found that not every holiday event is one we should attempt.  Occasionally we get a sitter for the outings that we know Wilson cannot tolerate so his sister still has the chance to go. Sometimes we leave early, or we arrive late. And sometimes we buy toys designed for toddlers because we know how happy they will make him.

This year, we were all able to go on a holiday train ride to see the city lights. We even saw Santa and Mrs. Claus, and Wilson did amazing. He loved every minute of the ride (beyond the wait to board the train.)  This was huge progress for him, and something we wouldn’t have attempted just a few years ago.

I don’t share this for any kind of “I’m sorry” or what not. The fact is that we don’t lack any JOY around the holidays while doing things a little differently. I wish everyone could FEEL this season the way that Wilson does.  I am overjoyed to be wrapping these items that I know will bring my boy such happiness, all while knowing that they may also lead to some overwhelm or sensory overload, too. I can appreciate a time not that long ago when we were at much more of a loss as to what to get for him. He’s never asked for much of anything.

Doing things differently was harder in the beginning. Birthday parties, trips, holidays.  Now we appreciate the joy and balance we find in the way we do these things our own way.

So, this little note is here as a reminder for those in the beginning, the ones struggling with wrapping their heads around “different”, the ones stumbling and getting back up. It gets better.

Or maybe you have friends or family with kiddos like Wilson, who are navigating things like autism, sensory processing disorder, developmental disabilities, or anxiety.

During these times, your grace and patience is extra meaningful and so appreciated.

Be easy on you, and where you are in this. And remember, it always gets better.

Wishing you so much JOY this holiday season.

xo,

Lauren