I’ve found it very difficult to protect my heart when it’s beating outside of my body. These days it’s running around in the form of a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed toddler, in its most vulnerable form. I’ve wanted to protect my son from the Big Bad World since day one. Most of the time his adventurous spirit would get in the way of the bubble wrapped life I had in mind for him.
Then came his autism diagnosis. How will I protect him now?
Will he be okay?
Will he ever talk? Be bullied on the playground? Or even attend school? Will he have a job? Drive? Live independently? Fall in love? And the spiral to nowhere continued.
As parents, we never want our children to feel pain and sadness. Hunger or cold. Lost or confused. It tears me up from the inside out when I look into my boy’s eyes and see how confused and frustrated he can become.
The other day, during one of his meltdowns, his 2-year-old little sister hugged him and would not let go. Eventually he started laughing because it became a game to try and get her off of him. I noticed something that day. The way she looked at him. It was simple and unconditional adoration.
In her eyes, he isn’t “different”. He is her big brother. Her hero. Her person. I prayed that night that she will always see him in that same light. As time passes, the weight of his world will inevitably impact hers more. New challenges will arise, they both will grow and change, but God, I hope that their unconditional love remains the same.
My children are both unique, and made for one another. I can’t catch them every time they fall down. But I can teach them how to help one another back up. To comfort one another. To laugh together.
My son has a wonderfully badass tribe of family, friends, doctors, therapists, interventionists and peers to help raise him up as high as he can go. And he has her.
So just like that, I had my answer. He’s going to be okay.
He is going to be okay, exceptional. Charlie will always be there for him. I wish you didn’t have to worry. I’m so glad Wilson has you as his mother, and sorry that life is not easy. I’m glad you feel and care and I wish I knew how to ease your concerns. You have acquired a depth of life’s importance that we could all learn from. We all love you and David and adorable Wilson and Charlie !
He is so loved because of his uniqueness 💙
They are such a gift💙
Oh man! This melts me! I love those two. Sibling love is a very special thing. You nailed it!
Wow!! Sitting in the DMV fighting back tears. I think that you have just said beautifully what I as a mom feel about all of my children and hope that everyone who reads this feels about there own. Thanks for advocating for all of us Lauren!! Your strong and such a roll model for us moms!! Love you and pray for you. 😘
It is incredible that this wonderful little boy has come to such caring, loving home. He will bring joy to you as a family. He has such a sweet nature and will soar because of his mother’s gift of such love for him. Thank you for sharing these hear-felt expressions of love, Lauren.
Lauren, you amazing as is David and your children. Thank you for sharing. This was so well written, thoughtful and touching. Wilson will be more than ok as will all of you. So much love! XO